she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
