belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
