An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
