I'm pants shitting drunk right now
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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