we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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