It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We were destined to go to rehab together
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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