Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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