on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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