Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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