Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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