Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
