For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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