I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
