he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
