we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
