You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
