Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
