i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
