I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
