Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
