ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
