if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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