somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
