I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
