you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize