Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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