if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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