I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
