ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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