i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
