How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
