Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It's just like the Real World with babies
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
