no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
