mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
high people should be assigned attendants
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
