Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I didn't notice because vodka
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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