You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize