so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
