Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
