thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
