Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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