tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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