Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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