you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
