So drunk its hurt
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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