i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm both gender and math confused
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
