Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
