i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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