I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
