I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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