where does the pee come out of this thing
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
