i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I need to align my fucking chakras
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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