Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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