Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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