grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize