She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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