i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
