Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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