If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
