Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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